Whenever I travel back to the States and meet friends or new acquaintances, the ultimate questions I am asked are ‘how is it living in the Middle East? Aren’t you afraid? You must be frightened living there on your own’. The first few times this happened my reaction was surprise and a bit insulted. ‘Why would I move to a region where I am forced to live in constant fear?’ Then it dawned, these questions are genuine, people really want to understand what it’s like living in this historically mysterious and contemporaneously fear-inspiring region of the world. How little Americans really understand about the Middle East, the variety of cultures within one region, the attitudes, and general behaviour towards foreigners, ex-pats, visitors, and of course, western women, especially those living alone without husband or family. Unfortunately media information ‘feed’ plays havoc with the American public. But as American involvement in the Middle East escalates and is becoming so intrinsically woven into the American cum global fabric via politics, oil economy, human rights issues, the war in Iraq, problems developing in Iran, even language as English is becoming a required language in education, then a more comprehensive idea and education regarding the Middle East is necessary. Though information can be readily obtained, particularly via the web in its many forms it’s apparent that a countrywide or even a worldwide public awareness about the mysterious and very ambiguous ‘Middle East’ exists. It is impossible to cover all topics about the complexities of life in the Middle East in one go, this blog hopes to answer a few questions, in this case those concerning women.
The answer to questions about women – especially ex-pat women – living in the Middle East simply stated – it depends. Not much of an answer, but contingent in which Middle Eastern country a woman chooses to live, the code of behaviour and expectations vary. However, certain practices and advice applies for all Middle Eastern countries: 1] style of dress, conservative, shoulders and knees covered; yes, there are tourists who violate this practice, but in the end, it gives tourists and westerners an overall negative reputation; 2] no public displays of affection, and in some countries this applies to the mild affection of holding hands in public; 3] no cohabitation between unmarried partners - this restriction applies more vigorously in certain countries – in particular the Gulf States; 4] dating local males carries with it an entire set of safeguard advice of which women need to be particularly aware.
In Egypt, a woman has as much freedom of movement as a man, with the exception of visiting certain mosques. Yet, precautions are always necessary, just as they would be in the States or any Westernized country. In Egypt, a woman can go to markets, drive a car, travel, visit souques, tourist attractions, or merely exploring the country, with little fear of molestation. But she must inure herself to the inevitable verbal and silent assaults…’are you married, where are you from…’ type of questions posed by taxi drivers in particular, and then the leering eyes of every male on the streets – and in Egypt they run in to the hundreds. Egypt is a restless country, it was before the revolution and is no less so post revolution, the streets are never quiet, foot and auto traffic dominate the cities and countryside. So a woman needs to be prepared for the onslaught of what Egyptian males consider charm, it palls very quickly.
In other Middle Eastern countries women encounter other situations. In Tunisia, for example, this country, especially in the North, evokes a Mediterranean and westernized ambiance. So women feel freer, but as a woman travels deeper into the south and more conservative parts of the country, i.e. cities such as Kairouan, a woman needs to be aware of an attitude change among the locals. Caution needs to be used here as in other Middle Eastern countries, but the same caution a woman would use in New York, Chicago, or San Francisco. In Lebanon, Jordan, Turkey, the same applies. Independent travel and living present no more difficulties than they might say in inner city London. What does need to be observed however, are the religious traditions which prevail in these countries. As mentioned above, this particularly applies to dress code and behaviour with the opposite sex. In countries where Sharia’a law is applied strictly, a woman cannot cohabit or engage in public display of affection. Depending upon the country, the penalties can range from disapproving stares from locals to warnings by police, and in cases where tourists refuse to comply with local laws and customs, deportation and occasionally imprisonment [witness the insolent behaviour of British tourists on a Dubai beach].
The question then, is there reason to be afraid, living in a culture not mine by birth, living among people who have traditions reaching back thousands of years? No more so than living in inner city somewhere in a Western environment where sirens blaze and crime is virtually around every corner. This is not to say that problems don’t arise in the Middle East, to think this is to where blinders. But in the end, nothing substitutes for actually visiting and living in the region, some of the beauties of which are to learn from and experience various cultures and get to know the locals. So if your adventurous spirit leads you to travelling in this direction, more to come on this blog!
